Everything is growing

I was sitting in the community room and facing to the house of our dogs. My eyes struck with the leaves of the Indian trees in front of me. I show all the branches have a leaves.  The leaves as a whole have side to side even in the last part of every branch.  This is something in every human being.  We are all pilgrim people on our way toward wholeness of life. For three months living in the community as a young sister many things happen, with the good and not so good experiences, made me realized that we are all in the same boat,  no matter how many years the person in the religious life is not a guarantee she is free from conflict. The conflict is between ourselves that produce emotional or spiritual discomfort. As the youngest in the community I cannot demand a witness, each one of us capable to become witness, in fact I will be frustrated in this reality in my present moment. I am a witness. I have to open my eyes and encounter with their uniqueness as they encounter with my uniqueness. Every person has back ground, as well as all grew up with the different atmosphere family. 

Sometimes I try to understand why people doing this and that and for me something is not properly, and all of my answers was every person has two influences; from outside their self and from inside. Outside them are atmosphere in their family, cultures, how their parents and environments treat them. And from inside are our genetic from our ancestors, our way of responds, life style choices and even God within.  Even the ways we express our love are different, some with gentle and some with challenge. Actually my expectations with the person or moment produce conflict within myself. 

The conflict within journey together with the awareness and understanding.  That is open to grow.  Like the leaves of the Indian tree, is always side to side with the branch in the middle, human being as I am growing together in my positive and negative, love, egoism, goodness,  influence from  inside and outside as God creation.  Living in wholeness is never achieved completely in my time, is always in the way, the whole of my life. Everything is growing. I can only make effort but everything will rely in God alone, he is the true healer.

bykristprast

The capacity to understand

Many times I have been thinking, and come to believe, that my personal vocation depends with what I see, through my dynamics. On this very moment I realize something is wrong in me.  I look up to others and when they don’t come up to my expectation I‘m in troubled.  I was thinking in my personal prayer, this morning. What the significant being affected by others attitude? And I tried to connect between capacity and quality. I remember when I had my home visit last January. I fetched my niece 3 years old from her school (play group).  She asked me, bude (auntie) I like to buy “ao”. She doesn't pronounce well. I didn't understand, I said. But she insisted and asked me, that she like to buy “kel ao”. I became confused. When we pass by suddenly a woman vendor said; this one? And she shows the cartoon picture sticker. Suddenly my niece jumped and said; ya…ya….I like this one, “kel ao”. I asked the woman, what is that? “Sticker Naruto, a famous movie cartoon from Japan this time”, she said. Oh my God! How did you know she needs that stuff? She replied; yes I know mom, I watch what is happening in TV program.  Finally we bought stickers and she was happy.

On our way of going home I was thinking and trying to reflect what was struck me.  How can she know even with only the two alphabets “ao”? Her understanding seems an ordinary understanding. She has capacity to know and observe this generation. She knows the quality of people in this day’s world. I think we have the capacity to know and understand others. But for many times the capacity vanish because we don’t really observe what is happening around us.  I don’t see the quality of others. I don’t see what is happening with others. However sometimes I am disappointed. When my realization of the reality different with others.  I cannot see the quality of the person if I don’t use my capacity to see and to observe what is going on in this particular situation or person.  In other words the more I increase my capacity of understanding, the more I can see the quality of others. Where ever you focus your attention is where you will receive your impressions.  

Exactly like in my dream, when somebody gave me the coin and the key. To have the keys to a place designated a special kind of power. If you buy a house or lease a car or rent an apartment, the moment you’re handed the keys you have authority. How about me? When  can I give allowance to others that is my power. Like the vendor woman, to observe and understand others is her power.

bykristprast